Black Pumps

"What are you doing?"

"Nothing. Well, I thought I might polish your shoes as a surprise."

"Those shoes don't need to be polished. Can you take them off before you stretch them out?"

"I was just thinking of you, dear."

"okay.... were you going to polish my bra and panties, too?"

Fishy

"Three hundred and fifty dollars."

Silence.

"I said, Three hundred and fifty dollars."

Kris kept washing the dishes.

"You aren't going to say anything? It cost three hundred and fifty dollars for two new keys and a new ignition switch."

"What do you want me to say?" Kris put a soapy dish into the strainer. "My mother gave me the keychain. I had to use it."

"It was too heavy. The weight of it got everything out of whack."

"My mother gave me the keychain. It has fish. She knows I like fish. She would have been hurt if I didn't use it."

"All I am saying is, it was too heavy and just cost three hundred and fifty dollars to use a freaking two dollar keychain your mother gave you. So stop using it."

Kris sighed. "I can't stop using it. It will hurt her feelings."